The journey is a lonely one. The isolation comes from without, as we are shunned by others who wish not to associate with those in our state. I've long categorized it a consequence of the fear of contamination, but it occurs to me now that it's not that as much as it is a fear of contagion, the realization that they have no vaccination or natural immunity and it could be happening to them.
But the isolation also comes from within. Any shame that results from being in this condition actually initiates a neurochemical response in our brains that more often than not, prompts us to isolate ourselves. The isolation intensifies the downward spiral as shame is healed within healthy community, and the only community available to be among equally damaged sojourners.
And this is where I currently find myself, having isolated myself for so long that I'm essentially cut off from the vast majority of my acquaintances and looking for an oasis, which is hard enough to find for someone who isn't a sojourner.
Up to now, I've tried to be more intentional through the relationships I've developed through my dancing and DJ-ing. And it's helped. But I know that it's not enough.
